"Remember Me This Way": A Creepy, Twisted and Slow Burn Thriller

How well do we really know anyone?

Sabine Durrant's dysfunctional marriage thriller "Remember Me This Way" goes beyond the surface of the secrets in a marriage between a sociopath and an introverted librarian that he stalks and eventually marries to show how easy it is to be deceived.

I'm not always a huge fan of thrillers - especially thrillers that show how messy marriages between crazy people can be.  Infidelity, twisted psychotic episodes, abuse - both mental and physical . . . all of these traits seem to mark the "must reads" that deal with dysfunctional marriages.  Just like in "The Girl on the Train" Sabine Durrant gives us a clingy, passive woman as a main character.  Lizzie unlike Rachel in "The Girl on the Train" has some desirable traits.  For one, she isn't drunk all the time, and for the most part, she doesn't tell lies to everyone that she knows.  Lizzie's conflict is her husband's tragic death which happened a year before the book begins.  Due to her guilt over feeling a little bit relieved after his death, she hasn't been able to visit the site of his car accident.  When she musters the will to go there, she finds flowers from a woman named Xenia there already, and she begins to unravel the secret life that her husband, Zach led.

Was anything that he told her true? If he really was a horrible person, what does it say about her that she really loved him? What does it say about her that she often felt responsible for his abusive and erratic behavior?

The narration switches back and forth from Lizzie trying to figure out what really happened to her husband and what he was really up to during their brief and tumultuous marriage.  She also wants to answer the questions that she has about whether or not he even died or if he is just waiting to punish her for the break up letter that she sent to his art studio.  In Zach's chapters, the reader becomes privy to the world of a misanthrope who never really tells the truth to anyone in his adult life, and about how easily he can camouflage himself into the nice guy or the new guy or the artist guy.  It's a dark world that Zach inhabits full of stalking just to see if he can get away with it and a trail of lies and abhorrent behavior with people who foolishly trust and even love him.

Lizzie's story is sad, but Durrant handles her codependent behavior with care.  She gives Lizzie a backbone (even if it isn't a very strong one).  The biggest downfall in this novel for me was the ease that Lizzie excepted the obviously troubled and incredibly spooky teenager, Onnie, into her home.  Although Lizzie felt reservations in allowing Onnie into her life, she caves quickly due to the pity she feels for her.  I never got a true sense of Onnie, and I never really wanted to.  She was more of an annoyance even though her story was integral to the plot.

Overall, I found Durrant's book to be a sly and well crafted thriller that felt perfect for an overly rainy week of summer.  I flew through it, and was satisfied with the outcome.  Something about this dysfunctional marriage rang more true than the relationships in the wildly successful "Girl on the Train" characters and their flawed love lives, or even "Gone Girl" and the sadistic nature of the wife who wants to punish her husband for his infidelity.  The pace wasn't as break neck, but quieter and even a bit repetitious at parts.  Nevertheless, I enjoyed myself while reading it, and recommend it to anyone looking for a quick thriller for the beach.

"Firefly Lane": Before The Nightingale, this one was considered her best

Sometimes I wonder what's wrong with me that I don't love the books I am pretty sure that I SHOULD love.  I've been called a "book snob" before, and I know that it's true.  In the summer, though, I generally love a good sappy romance, and I thought I would find it with Kristin Hannah's 2008 huge hit "Firefly Lane." This book, touted as her best before "The Nightingale," intrigued me.  It sounded like a perfect summer book - love, friendship, loyalty, loss.  Yum. I LOVED "The Nightingale", so I thought I would be just as enchanted by "Firefly Lane" and I was even more happy that it included nothing about WWII, but I was sorely disappointed by Hannah's lack of writing depth in this straightforward and often cliched book.

To be fair, the story is a good one.  "Firefly Lane" follows the friendship between an unlikely pair - innocent, ugly duckling, Kate whose family bonds are strong and dependable, and beautiful, rebellious Tully who moves next door with her burn out mother for a short span of time in the summer of 1974.  They become TullyandKate, inseparable best friends, and forge a bond that transcends the ravages of time, motherhood, love gained and lost, and jealousy both buried and apparent.

There is much to love in this story of friendship.  The cultural references throughout struck a cord with me.  With each decade came new challenges.  In the 70s, the girls struggled with their own forming identities, but found solace in summer bike rides.  In the 80s, the power struggles of college where Tully wanted them to stick together and enter the world of journalism as a pair, and Kate's ever growing sense of disinterest surfaced.  Tully's quest for t.v. stardom continued to grow through the 90s and early 2000s as she gained more and more fame and notoriety and Kate's priorities shifted to motherhood.  Each of the women long for what the other possesses and each feel pangs of regret over their chosen paths, but always remain friends. I could relate to the changing styles, the changing priorities, and the ability to stick to a friend even after betrayals.

The friendship was sweet at first, but something shifted for me when the girls entered college.  Tully's sense of entitlement and her blind ambition made me sad.  Kate's devoted loyalty to her egomaniac friend made me sad, too.  And that pattern continued their whole lives.  It was hard for me to understand why Kate remained so faithful to Tully who clearly was out for herself for most of the story.  It was just as hard for me to understand Kate's inability to take care of herself EVER. My feelings shifted in the last few chapters of the book when Tully and Kate returned to the sweetness that defined their early friendship.  They needed each other, and loved each other like sisters, frenemies, life-long rivals and besties.

The writing was eye rolling worthy in many instances, and then sweet in others.  I cringed at the cliches and the predictability of the story line.  Some of the dialogue was dreadful and campy.  The thing is, though, that Kristin Hannah is a prolific writer with a devoted following for her 20 novels.  She writes for women who don't want a complex novel, but want something straightforward with conflicts of friendship and love intertwined.

I don't think I'll be reading any of her other earlier books, but I do know that I loved "The Nightingale" and it has many of the same elements that "Firefly Lane" possessed like one driven female character who rebels against society and another who is a headstrong mother. Hannah knows how to craft memorable female characters that modern women can relate to in many ways and she knows how to draw in readers, it just depends on how deep of a read you prefer and now, it seems with her latest bestseller "The Nightingale" that readers have a choice between substance free writing and something with a little more grit.

"I'll Give You the Sun": A Magical and Passionate YA Masterpiece

Love does as it undoes.  It goes after, with equal tenacity: joy and heartbreak. 

There's something about looking at a beautiful painting or sculpture and noticing the fine details, the artistry, the imagination and the mystery that surrounds it.  Sometimes you see something so beautiful that you want to cry, or possess it, or to be the one who created it.  Jandy Nelson's "I'll Give You the Sun" is equal parts beautiful and heartbreaking. This YA coming-of-age novel shows how art transforms the characters and is itself a work of art.

It's been awhile since I've been so moved by a YA novel.  Nelson's gift is her lyrical writing which includes elements of magic and supernatural, but also gives heavy doses of reality.  She also nails what blossoming love feels like and looks like in two very smart protagonists.  The narrators in the alternating (and long but lovable) chapters are Jude and Noah, twins who are so close that they almost smother each other in their quest to curry favor from their artistic mother.  Each of them tries to forge their own paths, but life rarely plays fair.  After tragedy strikes their family and truths, secrets and lies mount, they compete with each other in dangerous ways that drive them apart.

I loved every second of reading this book because of the intricacy of the story line - how the characters intersect and bisect each other's lives. The idea of twins who can sense each other's pain hurting each other purposely, but ending up only hurting themselves was captivating as was the whimsy of the grandmother's character and the unforgiving mother who also needed to forgive herself.

On top of the brilliance of Noah and Jude and their original, artistic voices that realize things about love and life that most people never can quite get, the supporting characters all add to rather than detract from the story.  Noah's "split-apart," Brian and his denial of his sexual orientation hurts to read.  He and Noah are so in love, but it's not okay to be who they are in a world of "surftards" and dads who just want their sons to be normal.  And Jude's transformation from bad ass to recluse to emerging bad ass and truth sayer was not just believable but touching.  She falls for her destiny and doesn't realize it just like she doesn't realize her crazy haired, stone sculptor, mentor is actually more closely tied to her life.

All artistic elements of this book work harmoniously to create a gorgeous inner and outer work of art YA novel that is so original and fresh that it feels like a pop of summer sunshine to read, but the depth of it and the emotional charge that comes form reading it makes me want to meet Jandy Nelson and tell her I am in awe of her passion and talent as a writer.

Looking for a coming of age love story this summer? Read "I'll Give You the Sun" and prepare to be amazed.

"At the Water's Edge": Literal and Figurative Monsters

I loved Sara Gruen's book "Water for Elephants." In that book she transported me to the inner world of a traveling circus at the advent of The Great Depression when everyone who worked there was lucky to have a job.  Told through the recollections of the 90 year old Jacob, the reader longs for Marlena and Jacob's relationship to grow and cheers for Rosie the elephant.  It was a book I couldn't put down and I was completely pulled into the story.

Sara Gruen's latest novel "At the Water's Edge" possesses an intriguing storyline just like "Water for Elephants." The story revolves around Maddie and,Ellis (who are married) and Hank (their best friend), three socialite partiers who are spared the horrors of WWII in their elitist New York City existence.  Rather than facing the sacrifices that so many need to make, they live a life of excess and fun until Ellis and Maddie disgrace Ellis's rich family one too many times.  Ellis contrives a ridiculous plan to restore his good faith in the family by clearing his father's reputation as a con-artist who set up a Loch Ness monster hoax.  Even though it's wartime, Ellis convinces Maddie and Hank to journey from New York City to Scotland's highlands in search of the Loch Ness monster.

The journey is perilous through stormy, war torn seas, and when they arrive at their destination in Scotland, their reception is chilly at best.  Ellis and Hank reveal themselves as spoiled, rich, ruthless party boys who have no concern for others, and Maddie begins to see the truth of her marriage as well as her own part in a life she hasn't really been living but deadening with anxiety pills.  While Ellis and Hank abandon her to spend time together carousing and fruitlessly searching for a monster that may or may not exist, Maddie realizes the true monster is not necessarily the legendary one in the Loch, but the one she calls her husband.

The best moments of this book come from the genuine friendships that Maddie forms with "the help" at the inn.  Even more than that, the best character in the book is Angus, the mysterious inn keeper who disappears every day, but protects his staff and his community tirelessly from the threat of enemies both from the war and the patrons who frequent the inn.  The relationship between Maddie and Angus builds throughout the novel's second half and culminates in truly touching fashion.

Rife with legends, superstitions, dark and mysterious beauty, the setting of Scotland's Highlands offers much in the way of cold and lonely landscapes, but Gruen doesn't seem able to actualize all the elements that she orchestrates in the novel.  Ellis is a heavy handed bully, and so unlikable that he seems like more of a caricature than an actual person. Although Hank shows some signs of redeeming traits, he ultimately remains a flat character with little to offer in the way of the storyline.  The whole motif of monsters among us set against the backdrop of WWII and the Loch Ness monster are just as heavy handed as Ellis's drunken and drugged abuse.  The theme is fitting and the different components are there for an amazing story to unfold, but instead the narration and the flow of the plot feel clunky and wooden.

The book itself is highly readable.  I was able to finish it in just a day and a half, but the satisfying feeling I get at the end of a great book just didn't materialize at the end of this one.  It's good, but not great. Interesting, but not mind blowing.  With the rain soaked setting, I felt cold reading it and am ready to warm up with a hot summer book.

"Bettyville": You can go home again

There are simple things in life that make sense.

The first thing that makes sense is that it's important to tell the truth about ourselves.  The second thing that makes sense is that we need a place to call home.  What strikes me as most interesting about these two simple things is that it isn't always easy to face the truth of our homes, but it's important to seek understanding about where we come from regardless of how painful that truth might be.

George Hodgman's memoir "Bettyville" explores his relationship with his 90 something mother in Paris, Missouri.  After losing his job and realizing that his mother who is in early stages of Alzheimer's and living alone needs his help more than she is willing to admit, he moves home to care for her.  He isn't quite sure of this at the outset of his "visit" because George is more New York City than small, Midwest town of Paris "population 1,246 and falling" where life moves slowly and revolves around homemade lemon pie, church piano playing, old shag carpets, and visits to the hairdresser.

But something happens as George, a former Vanity Fair editor and book editor, stays to care for his mother.  He begins to see her for who she is, but even more importantly he begins to understand who he is as well.  George's father, Big George died in 1997, and it is abundantly clear in this book that he deeply loved his father and still loves his mother even with their stoic approach to raising him.  For George, growing up was more than awkward.  At times it was painful because he was a gay man living in a small town where people didn't understand homosexuality nor did they care to even try to be open to the idea that gay men weren't choosing that life.  His parents never discussed his sexuality with him, and never really talked to him about his personal life even when he invited boyfriends to their home.

Ultimately, though, "Bettyville" paints the picture of George's mother, a feisty woman who still retains a sense of her former beauty.  Even in her 90s, she refuses to submit to her dementia and her lymphoma diagnosis.  She cares about remembering how to play her favorite hymns and the names of things that seem to slip just outside her grasp.  And George is there to help her in her twilight years with love and tenderness and often humor and a bit of disdain.

Even with their bickering and disagreeing, he respects and admires his elderly mother.  He realizes  that her inability to face his sexuality stemmed from her belief that she had somehow broken him when he was a squalling baby that she could not soothe. "She was not good enough and then he turned out broken and, after all someone had to be blamed. Someone had to have made her boy turn out wrong.  She thinks she was the one." Although George could blame his mother for many of the turns his life took, he never does, and he gives her the greatest gift by staying and helping her when she needs him most.

In his author's note, Hodgman writes, "My greatest wish is to hurt no one, though I believe we are often the most triumphant when revealed at our most human." In this book he uncovers not only what it's like to grow up gay with parents who don't want to acknowledge it, but also what it's like to come home again after living a fast paced life full of wrecked relationships and self-loathing to finally discover yourself as you care for a dying parent.  It's truth after truth after truth, and it's rarely pretty but it's always human.

Page Turning Books to Take on Summer Vacations

I'm always looking for great books to read over summer vacation.  I love the kinds of books that are quick to read but well written, light without being dumb, substantial without making my brain hurt from thinking - a book that if I had to put it down to play with my kids in the pool that I could pick right back up and get right back into it.  If you are looking for a great book to read over summer vacation that fits those criteria, here are some suggestions from the books I've read over the past few years.


Fun Fiction:
What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty - I really enjoyed the premise of this book.  It made me think about the last 10 years of my life.  Am I who I want to be?  How did I get to this place in my life?  Is there anything I would change about the last 10 years? Liane Moriarty's books are all pretty fun and fast paced, but this one is my favorite.





The Martian by Andy Weir - It's odd for me to include a Sci-Fi book on my list, but this one, although outside of my reading comfort zone, made me cheer and race to the finish.  It does have a bunch of technical stuff in it, but the determination of the American hero in this book is fun to follow.





Best Romantic Reads With Substance:
The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion - I loved the non-traditional romance set up in this book.  I raced through this one at the very beginning of fall.  Cheesy to say it, but I fell in love with the story which follows Don and his intriguing "Wife Project" and how he accidentally falls in love with Rosie.





One Plus One OR Me Before You by Jojo Moyes- I'm embarrassed to say that I had never heard of Jojo Moyes before I picked up her book One Plus One in the "Hot Picks" section of my library.  At first I thought I wouldn't enjoy it, but Moyes has a way of pulling you into her novels, making you stay there and emoting all over the place.









Best WWII Historical Fiction: 

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doer - Ummm.... this book was pretty much amazing.  The short chapters which alternate story lines will keep you reading even with the lyrical writing style.  The craft that Doer shows astounded me, and so did the characters, the plot and the complexities of another side of WWII that I didn't know existed.






The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah - I didn't think I needed to read yet another WWII historical fiction novel, but Kristin Hannah proved me wrong.  I was breathless most of the time I read this book and I actually threw the book across the room because I got so upset while reading it.  It's fast paced, epic, romantic, and totally worth it.







Best Memoirs:

Brain On Fire by Susannah Cahalan - I gobbled this down in one day and just couldn't believe what I was reading at certain times.  It's crazy how much about the brain we really don't understand and seeing what can happen to a relatively healthy 20something was terrifying and fascinating all at once.







A House in the Sky by Amanda Lindhout and Sara Corbett - This book stressed me out so much that I got a headache reading it . . . because it's that amazing and that good.  I didn't want to talk to anyone or do anything but read my book.  It is a story of hope, to say the least, and survival and the will and determination that human beings have.







Best YA: 

Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell - If you love any of the John Hughes movies you are bound to love this touching first love / coming of age story.  You can almost hear the soundtrack as you are reading the book which only makes it better.




We Were Liars by e. lockhart - It took me one day to finish this one, and after I finished it, I'm pretty sure my mouth was still hanging open in disbelief.  I picked my daughters up from school and they asked, "Are you okay, Mommy?" because I was still thinking about this book.






Thrillers: 

The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins- I did not love this book, but you will turn pages quickly and it's a great book for the beach.  If you've been looking for something to read and you loved Gone Girl, you will most likely enjoy this thriller, too which has more than it's fair share of crazy women.





The Silent Wife by A.S.A. Harrison - I thought this thriller, while way less appreciated and touted than The Girl on the Train, was a way better read.  It has more psychological depth to it, and it will make your heart race often.




Happy summer reading everyone! If you have a book that you think should be on this list, pass it along.  I am always looking for great recommendations.

"The Nightingale": A Beautiful WWII Historical Fiction of Sisters, Hope, Loss, and Love

War sucks.
I continually came back to that statement in my head as I read Kristin Hannah's bestselling "The Nightingale."

After reading I'll Be Seeing You, The Girl You Left Behind, and All the Light We Cannot See  in the span of a few months, I wasn't aching to read another WWII saga about what happens to those that aren't on the front battle lines but waging the wars at home. I'm so glad that I did, though.  Kristin Hannah's "The Nightingale" is a gorgeous book that captivates from the first chapter and doesn't disappoint in the trials, hardships, sacrifices, enduring love, and the evils of WWII. I laughed. I cried. I threw the book several times.  I raced to the end, and I ached along with the sisters in this moving, epic tale.

What I've been loving about reading my latest round of WWII books is that most of them have centered on the role of women in the war.  Yes, men were fighting each other on the battlefields with gruesome results.  We've seen the war movies like "Saving Private Ryan" and we've been privy to the unspeakable horrors of concentration camps. We were inspired by "Unbroken" and what happened in the prison camps, but we rarely see the heroics of women who were left behind when the men went out to fight. "The Nightingale" centers on the lives of two sisters who live in France during the time of German occupation.  Vianne Mauriac lives in the quiet village of Carriveau, but after her husband leaves to fight in the war, a German captain billets at her home.  She and her daughter, Sophie, tread the dangerous tightrope of surrender and fight, secrecy and transparency, and ultimately learn how to live with scarcity, fear, and violence.

Isabelle, Vianne's younger and fiercely independent sister, yearns for love and adventure.  She finds her calling during the war by distributing war leaflets illegally, and delves deeper into the resistance movement after she discovers a downed pilot who needs her help to survive.

Hannah's book provides moments that made me squirm.  At one point after I growled and threw the book, my husband asked, "Are you alright?" with a concerned look on his face.  I didn't feel alright.  Actually, at certain times while I read "The Nightingale" I was sickened by our modern day excess.  Vianne and Isabelle, and millions of others learned to survive on so little during the war.  WWII left a gray cloud of want, hate, sadness, death and starvation.  On the flip side of all the devastation,  "The Nightingale" also showed the tenacity of the human spirit to survive in desperate times.  Vianne and Isabelle showed resilience and love while surrounded by horrors that were unimaginable.

Maybe that is why I put myself through reading another WWII book which make me so sad - all that death, all the innocent lives lost, and the innocence of so many taken away.  Hope is what keeps people going and keeps me reading, and Hannah shows so much hope through Vianne and Isabelle's stories.  I found myself thinking often as I was reading, "Would I have been strong enough to help others?" "Would I have survived?" "Would I have sacrificed so much to keep going?" It's impossible to know what we are truly made of until we find ourselves thrown into situations where we need to survive.

I hope I never need to find out, but reading the stories of the sisters in this book (Isabelle is actually based on a real life character) will help me to remember how strong women can be.  "The Nightingale" is a must read for anyone who loves a good historical fiction book - especially those of you who are like me and can't seem to get enough of WWII historical fiction.